sunsets at the office

Passing the days until the world ends.


Why wait?

Perhaps one of the most cliched, done-over, roasted, toasted and char-broiled love stories is the story of finding Mr. Right. People go back and forth, debating the actual existence of such a person. There’s a reason to the madness though, one that is both a human desire for finding self-actualization and an emotion that defies explanation.

Today, I think I understand why I have been so recently obsessed with a particular Chinese dating show.

The basic premise of the show runs like this. Twenty-four girls stand, each at their own booth. Every episode, around five guys will step onto the stage (individually) and be judged by these 24 females based on three videos about themselves, the girl they are looking for and also interviews with friends. The bald moderator along with two “teachers” make snarky, sometimes cutting comments about the exchange going back and forth on stage. If the guy, currently under survey by the 24 women, manages to survive judgement through all three videos, they have the choice of pursuing the first woman that had caught their eye or choosing another lady to walk off the stage with.

Recently, one of the show’s longest running female contestants, was finally led away by a guy who came to be on the show especially for her. She had rejected many others before her, who were nice guys, brought her gifts and promised her much. This time however, she chose to walk because this was the guy for her. The right guy for her. In particular, someone who was able to move her heart. Some of the show’s audience had questioned why she refused to walk with perfectly good guys, suggesting that she might be craving attention from the media, having especially high standards or just simply on the show for exposure. Despite these doubts, I think her choice to walk with the “right” guy speaks for itself.

Sometimes, its worth it to wait, to know with some certainty that this is the choice that suits you and the one that you want to make. I have come to realize, through watching this show, no matter how fabricated or detached from reality it might be, that I have been waiting, just like how that girl had been waiting. I have never chased down a guy and I have never been in a relationship, because I have never felt that spark of rightness. I have doubted. I have questioned, but I have never been certain. That is not to say, that it is a certainty where I know the relationship will work out. Rather, it is a certainty that here is a relationship I would sacrifice for and a person, an other, that I feel is right.

It’s strange to be getting a life lesson from a television show which we might often consider to be shallow and subjective. Yet, I feel no qualms about my understanding. I think even with entertainment, there are bits and pieces of truth that we look for and that sometimes we find. That is, after all, why they continue to capture our attention and steal valuable time in which I could be doing something more productive.

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